2007年10月14日 星期日

躁。

最近又進入了這種時期。

不睡覺因為根本不會累。

夜很安穩而我卻想著不確定的事,反正睡著也是無所事事。

夢很平靜但我卻試圖弄皺這世界,反正醒著也是看它崩毀。

不如榨乾我自己。



Bleed It Out

[Mike Shinoda]

Yea here we go for the hundredth time,
Hand grenade pins in every line,
Throw 'em up and let something shine.
Going out of my fucking mind.
Filthy mouth, no excuse.
Find a new place to hang this noose.
String me up from atop these roofs.
Knot it tight so I won't get loose.
Truth is you can stop and stare,
Run myself out and no one cares.
Dug a trench out, laid down there
With a shovel up out to reach somewhere.
Yea someone pour it in,
Make it a dirt dance floor again.
Say your prayers and stomp it out,
When they bring that chorus in.

[Chester Bennington]

(Chorus)
I bleed it out,
Digging deeper just to throw it away.
I bleed it out,
Digging deeper just to throw it away.
I bleed it out,
Digging deeper just to throw it away,
Just to throw it away,
Just to throw it away.

[Mike Shinoda]

I bleed it out.
Go, stop the show.
Chop your words in a sloppy flow.
Shotgun I pump, lock and load,
Cock it back and then watch it go.
Mama help me, I've been cursed,
Death is rolling in every verse.
Candypaint on his brand new hearse.
Can't contain him, he knows he works.
I hope this hurts, I won't mind.
Doesn't matter how hard I try.

Half the words don't mean a thing,
And I know that I won't be satisfied.
So why, try ignoring him.
Make your dirt dance floor again.
Say your prayers and stomp it out,
When they bring that chorus in.

[Chester Bennington]

(Chorus)
I bleed it out,
Digging deeper just to throw it away.
I bleed it out,
Digging deeper just to throw it away.
I bleed it out,
Digging deeper just to throw it away,
Just to throw it away,
Just to throw it away.

I bleed it out.
I've opened up these skies,
I'll make you face this.
I pulled myself so far,
I'll make you face this now.

I bleed it out,
Digging deeper just to throw it away.
I bleed it out,
Digging deeper just to throw it away.
I bleed it out,
Digging deeper just to throw it away,
Just to throw it away,
Just to throw it away.

I bleed it out,
Digging deeper just to throw it away.
I bleed it out,
Digging deeper just to throw it away.
I bleed it out,
Digging deeper just to throw it away,
Just to throw it away,
Just to throw it away.

I bleed it out. [3X]

證據

像是要證明什麼似的,不斷地對著不同的人說著同樣的話。

沒什麼,何必問那麼多?

證據,不是很明顯了嗎?

時間早晚而已。

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只是現在還是在思考如何跳脫矛盾,還有身處於圍城之後該怎麼過。

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或許也要疏遠尼古丁,反正繆思比那種東西還好得多。

但也必須等到我能夠在我的地盤暢所欲言為止。

我無法說做就做。

資格

最近讀了太宰治的人間失格。

整本書我只喜歡一句話:「這是個人與個人之爭,是一時之爭且最好能勝。」

很現實的一句話。反正人活著就是要爭。

爭一口氣爭權奪利爭風吃醋爭功諉過,不爭,就當不了人。

於是愚蠢的人花費一輩子爭。

於是成熟的人思考為何而爭。

但不想爭的人已經失去資格當人。

火宅

《妙法蓮華經》裡有這麼一段話:「三界無安,猶如火宅。」

眾生為生老病死而憂傷,為了欲望而苦惱,為了掌握一切備受煎熬。

所以人該為何而活?是愛嗎?但人們卻往往將愛詮釋為佔有。

於是愛人的人也跟著變得面目可憎卻毫不自知。

所以人該為何而活?是恨嗎?但人們卻常常將恨解釋為毀滅。

於是恨人的人也跟著變得醜陋猙獰且傷人無數。

「祢何以笑得安祥?」我問佛。

佛當然不會說話。

祂只會笑。